A boat on the horizon

Soaking up sun and sea has an after effect that’s bitter yet sweet
The feel of dried salt water on your skin
Tangled hair and a frizzy smile

I used to let myself be consumed by it
We would search for it every day after school
When the sun was at its peak
And the water was cold enough to refresh souls

Down at the pier there was a boat and we’d jump in and float until we reached the horizon
Have you ever seen an Aruban sunset while drifing out on sea?
It feels infinite
It makes you feel microscopic and gigantic all together

On that boat you held my hand for the first time and said you never wanted to leave
A city would never fill your needs like the island life and the sea did
It made me sad to think you’d ever leave my side

Years later I sit in a small apartment in a city far away from that dimension
All that crosses my mind is the irony of that sketch on sea
Where you said you’d never leave

And through the years, the filters, the degrees and the pandemics
I still think about how I was the one that left

Now every time a foreign man kisses my lips I long for those times you held my hand in our own language
Because without saying a word we would say everything

If love ever returns, I hope it comes by sea carrying bottles of glad tidings
And perhaps even a little of that past

Because the times I went back
And my city overrun heels touched the sand
And my untanned skin touched the water
I searched for you

Yet I couldn’t find you
The boat came to me in desperation and even drifting on sea alone
I still couldn’t see you

Propelling myself to shore was enough to realize
You were no longer there
And in a way neither was I

Now ever so often somewhere on an European terrace in the middle of summer it becomes silent
And for a split second I remember the sunsets on that boat
Except it feels like an eternity ago
Then why do I still miss you?

I feel this as foreign lips reach to kiss my cheek
I really do miss you